Hi! My name is Erin and I’m a stacker. I have stacks of papers, bills, crafts and stuff all over my house. My desk, my bookshelves, the back of the toilet! Okay, the back of the toilet belongs to John and his gun magazines. This summer with Colby was rough. I think he had some kind of virus or something every other week. He was cranky, I was cranky. I was tired after losing our nurses and the last thing I wanted to do was clean up anything.
Another confession for you. I hate to clean bathrooms. Despise doesn’t even come close to describing how much I detest bathrooms. John generally cleans them because he knows how much I hate it. It drives me nuts though to have dirty bathrooms though. My bathrooms have been beyond depressing all summer.
So last week we called a cleaning company.
There I said it. We hired someone to come clean our bathrooms. Something I never ever thought I’d do because who can’t keep their bathrooms clean? Oh that’s right, I can’t!
Really what it came down to was I finally had to admit that I can’t do it all. I know I can’t but I don’t like to admit it and on some level it felt like a huge admission of defeat. John’s starting radiation in two weeks (most likely, we’ll find out for sure on Thursday) between taking care of him and Colby, being up every night three to five times a night, homeschooling Jahnna, and dealing with Riley’s ITP, I know I can’t do it all.
I refuse to try and do it all. It’s not healthy for me and if I don’t take care of myself I won’t be able to take care of the one’s that need me to take care of them. After six years I’ve finally learned my lesson and I’m going to try and give myself a little breathing room.