Nervous

Today is John’s first follow-up MRI and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous. I didn’t think I’d be so nervous for this. I told John that I was this morning and he kind of laughed. He said that he had been thinking about it yesterday. He couldn’t decide whether he should dread an MRI or if he should look at it as a confirmation that it hasn’t come back. He’s decided to go with the later. I’m trying to be that positive but I suppose that every two months I will feel like this. Prayers for a clean scan would be fabulous if you could do that!

In other news. We have a wonderful friend who spoke with some people and they decided to give Riley a scholarship to a preschool here in town that is insanely expensive. I never would have even looked it up because I knew I couldn’t afford it. She called me yesterday and asked if I would let her go. It’s 3 hours 3 days a week and it includes swimming, tennis, gymnastics and creative movement! I am so excited for her. Riley was so cute when I asked her if she wanted to go. She said “Sure!” and then she got this really serious look on her face and said “But I will miss you while I’m gone” It was so sweet and cute. I told her I would miss her to but I’d still be here every day. Now she is super excited and she woke up this morning expecting to go today! Oops. I probably should have waited until it was closer to the start date to tell her about it.

I took Jahnna and Riley to the dentist this morning and they loved it. Both of them had no cavities. Riley’s teeth are perfectly straight. Jahnna’s not so much. She has a cross bite that we’ve known about but we’ve got to get it fixed now so she won’t have to have surgery when she’s older. Next week Colby and I are up for visits. Colby has to have the ultrasonic cleaning because his teeth get so covered in plaque from his medications. I’m hoping that giving his some Clonidine before the appointment will make him either sleep through it or relax him enough that he won’t fight it as bad this time. He grinds his teeth so we’ll eventually have to cap his molars as he has already ground them down flat. I’m hoping we still have more time before we end up having to do that.

In car news we’ve decided that we’re going to be a one car family at least for a few months. I still haven’t found a money tree and financing one isn’t an option right now. So we’re fixing John’s truck and I’ll get to drive that one for a while. Ugh it’s a 10 cylinder beast so I’m really going to have to start consolidating doctor appointments in Salt Lake City. Not to mention it’s hard on my back to get Colby’s wheelchair in and out of the bed of the truck since it’s raised up a few inches. Oh well. Who needs a back anyway right?

Today I’m kind of struggling to not be down about things. So I’m sorry if this is kind of a negative post. I’m working on counting my blessings and focusing on the good. I suppose today is hard just because I’m nervous so I will spend the rest of the day trying to focus on keeping my mind busy so I don’t think about what it could show. So in honor of that I’m off to wash the dishes and fold some laundry.

Tagged as: Cancer, John, Riley